Meet T1D Momma, Saira P.

I never truly gave my diabetes the attention it deserved until I was planning for my first pregnancy

I was diagnosed at 9 years old. I never truly gave my diabetes the attention it deserved until I was planning for my first pregnancy. The more that I read about diabetes and pregnancy, the more invested I became in taking care of my body. 

It was no longer just for me - the highs and the lows weren’t just my burden to bear but something that would affect my baby as well. So when I became pregnant, managing my diabetes became my first and most pressing priority. 

 I was testing my blood sugar 10-12x a day and working closely with my doctors to ensure a healthy pregnancy. My daughter Audrey was estimated to be 9lbs but when she came 2 weeks early, she was a surprising 11lbs. I had a brief moment to kiss her on the forehead before she was whisked away to the NICU to be treated for low blood sugar. She had an umbilical cord IV put in and was in the NICU for 4 days. 

 As a first time mother, I struggled those first 4 days. The c-section was an emergency procedure after my blood pressure suddenly spiked at 37 weeks. So without time to prepare, I was rushed into an emergency C-section at midnight and the anesthesia made me very sick. I was unable to keep even water down. When Audrey was taken to the NICU immediately after delivery, I felt heart broken and defeated. 

They said my out of control diabetes gave me a Big baby.

Even though her low blood sugar was improving, I bore an incredible sense of guilt for her being in there in the first place and felt responsible. I was not allowed to nurse her or take her out of her bassinet while she was in the NICU since she was hooked up to her glucose IV and that deepened my grief and guilt. The nursing staff made remarks that they had never seen such a big baby in the NICU and my sugar must have been out of control to have such a large baby.

My A1C was 6 during my first pregnancy and as someone who is always wanting to do things properly, I felt very ashamed of the idea that I could have tried harder to manage my sugar when it felt as though I had tried my best. 

We brought Audrey home, she spent every day after in my arms. She grew into a curious, talkative and healthy little girl. She struggled with acid reflux during her first year but other than that, she had no other health problems. 

Meanwhile, I was determined to breastfeed but unable to due to her reflux. She refused bottles and would only drink when asleep. So I pumped exclusively for a year and bottle fed her. It was difficult to control my sugar while also taking care of my newborn and my sugar levels ran higher than usual but after time, I was able to manage both my blood sugar and life with our new baby.

I was determined to be in tighter control for #2

When Audrey was coming up on her second birthday, I planned for my second pregnancy. My A1C was 6.5 at the time of conception and this time, I was determined to lower it even further (having that mom guilt in my mind that I could have prevented Audrey’s NICU stay). 

I worked closely with a high risk OB, a group of perinatologists and a new endocrinologist. However, at 6 months, my baby was projected to be very large again. My endocrinologist refused to do a A1C but my high risk OB suggested that we must be inaccurately reporting my blood sugar levels since the baby was due to be large again. 

With neither doctor seeing eye to eye, I appealed to my perinatologist, who stepped in and did an A1C in her office. It was 5.4. She came to the conclusion that I simply have the genes to create very big babies. And that my diabetes plays a role in that but it is not the only factor at play. 

I could not have had a more involved medical team than I did during my second pregnancy but I took it upon myself to do my part - test my sugars, eat properly and go on walks every day.

A1C in great control, I still had a large baby

My second baby was born 3 weeks early via c-section in a very calm OR. Evie was 12lbs at birth and we spent a blissful hour together in post-op doing skin to skin before she was taken to the NICU for low blood sugar. She too had an umbilical cord IV put in. 

I had prepared for this moment mentally and physically. I was in a better physical state to visit her and immediately started breastfeeding and pumping. Our daughter's pediatrician knew how I wished I could have held Audrey when she was born and that I was worried about a repeated experience so she spoke with the NICU staff and urged them to allow me to nurse Evie, even though the process was delicate. 

We spent 7 days in the NICU together and I was able to hold her for every feed and watch her sleep in my arms. 

No one asked me why she was so big or suggested that I must have had poor control. The experience was completely different. 

When we brought her home, we struggled with breastfeeding but not due to acid reflux. I went to numerous lactation consultants and we came to the conclusion that my little Evie was just particular - “a high needs baby.” I didn’t let that scare me. I tried every single day, up to 10 times a day to nurse her. Some days she would nurse, some days I would have to pump and feed her a bottle. For an entire month, she wouldn’t nurse at all and only took bottles but at every feeding, I still attempted to breastfeed. When she was 4 months old, something clicked and she finally got the hang of it. 

After that, she breastfed until weaning at 21 months. People are always surprised when I tell them I kept trying for 4 months - some say they would have given up sooner.  

 But my pregnancies, my children and my experience with diabetes taught me how to not give up even when facing hard challenges. Whether it is improving blood sugar control, choosing doctors that work with you instead of treating you like a textbook case, breastfeeding  or working on your health long after your babies are born. I've realized that some things are worth the challenge. 

 My girls are healthy, active and best friends at 2 and 4 years old. And I am a stay at home mom and health coach helping other women  with their fitness, nutrition and weight loss goals. I have a special place in my heart for type 1 diabetic mamas and breastfeeding moms - knowing that they undergo particular daily challenges that are not common to everyone. 

Although I spent so many years as a young adult not caring about my diabetes, my experience as a mother taught me that I am responsible for my health and should take care of my body, not just while pregnant but every day. My philosophy is to stay consistent in your efforts to improve and to give yourself grace.